People Want To Be Heard, Not Judged


 Loss is a part of life.  Any time something begins, something else must end; however there is a process in the middle.  As someone once said, “When one door closes, another one opens but sometimes there’s hell in the hallway”.  The ‘hallway’ of losing a job brings about an emotional response.  That response is called grief.  Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss.  The Grief Recovery Institute defines grief as: the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or a change in a familiar pattern or behavior.  People don’t feel good when we lose stuff whether it be tangible or intangible, i.e., such as loss of trust, loss of a job, lifestyle changes, moving, etc. The last thing people want to hear is “everything will be alright”. Yes, this is more than likely true; however, its doesn’t do much in helping people feel better. Miraculously there is something that makes people feel better and that is being HEARD without feeling anxious about being analyzed or judged because they feel the way they feel.  Communicating with job seekers involves a certain skill set and that is empathetic listening – being able to understand things from the job seekers point of view and not your own. There are times when people don’t want you to fix their problems for them, they just have a desire to be heard.  That is all.

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