Job Loss and Transition Strategist
- Tracy Washington, Job Loss and Transition Strategist
Is your company downsizing? Are you an organization who helps displaced workers transition from involuntary unemployment? For assistance in equipping your employees and the professionals you serve to transition effectively, contact me today.
photo credit: Victor1558
Most of us mean well when we interact with a person who is grieving over losing a job. We attempt to be sympathetic and caring towards the person but often times the words we speak are not helpful. Grieving job-seekers are sensitive to the language that is used in interacting with them.
Here is a list things you should and should not say when interacting with a grieving job-seeker:
What NOT to say
Helpful things TO say
The list for what to say is shorter on purpose. We should deal with hurting job-seekers from a humanistic, transparent perspective rather than a “case” or a “client”. A little human tenderness goes a long way. Communicating with grievers starts with connecting with their hearts and not their heads.
Tracy Washington is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Independent Certified John Maxwell Trainer, Speaker & Coach and can be reached at Tracy@TracyWashington.com or (888)715-9977 .
photo credit: Sadeq Hussain
Many of us go through life like a gerbil on an exercise wheel merely surviving day to day. With all the mundane tasks essential for daily living, our true authentic selves have become buried under a barrage of “activity”. Somewhere along the way we stopped dreaming, planning and believing that life has the possibility of offering more than what we’re currently experiencing. It’s time to take action and assess where we are, where we’re going and what will it take to get there . . . in other words, “What’s the plan”?
In order to make plans, we must know where to start. When planning a road trip, there’s always a starting point that leads to a final destination. In order for us to map out the course of our lives, we must first examine our starting point. These powerful questions will help to determine your starting point.
These thought-provoking questions will help ignite the engine to get us on the road to purpose and destiny.
To map out our destination, we must know our purpose or calling. What are we placed on earth to accomplish? Answering this question requires continual soul-searching. Each of us possesses different talents, skills and abilities and we often go through life not fully recognizing what those unique attributes are. The busyness of life can suffocate the awareness of how we are uniquely designed. This is why it is imperative that we do not compare or judge one another for our differences. To find my purpose, I had to stop comparing myself to other people and doing what other people thought I should do and reflect on my innermost being – my soul. I examined those activities that I found complete joy and satisfaction in, something I was passionate about. The things that motivate you and flow naturally through you are gifts from God. Finding my gifts and studying my uniqueness was the greatest discovery of my life because it opened the door and became the gateway to my purpose.
Once you have identified your desires, dream and goal and have a clear vision of where you are going – it’s time for action. It’s time to do something and move in the direction that resonates with your spirit. Moving requires change, and change can sometimes hurt. You have to be willing to make sacrifices to move to a higher level of living. Planning is essential to fulfilling and living out your purpose. You will not wake up one day and be at your destination, you have to plan how to get there. The path to your destiny is like taking a wonderful ride through this journey we call life. It will be full of ups and downs, disappointments and failures, but it will also involve joy and peace, excitement and passion. Your passion will be the fuel that keeps you motivated to continue on the path when the road gets rough.
Keep your vision and goals close to your heart and begin to exercise the gifts and talents that are inside you so the rest of the world has the opportunity to drink from your fountain of purpose.
Tracy Washington is an Independent Certified John Maxwell Trainer, Speaker & Coach who trains Workforce Development Professionals and the Career Services Industry on Transition, Communication and Leadership. She can be reached at Tracy@TracyWashington.com or (888)715-9977
The deteriorating economy in the United States and around the world has left tens of thousands of people without jobs. Many people aren't sure how to describe what they are feeling or how to deal with those feelings. Some describe the feeling of being just plain old ANGRY. Anger often stems from feelings of anxiety and frustration. So in the context of losing a job for some, it might be a relief and for others it could cause extreme anger. Anger is a normal emotional reaction to a perceived or real threat to ourselves, our livelihood, or something or someone we love and care about.
Since we are emotional beings we don't have to deny this part of our human existence. It's perfectly okay to be angry. It's a natural human emotion. In a culture that values work and seems to connect self-worth to what one does for a living, its easy to see how the threat to our livelihoods can cause a person to be angry. When I lost my job, the memory of the lifestyle I used to live and no longer had made me extremely angry. I was mad at the world. Angry that I couldn't control the situation and that produced fear and a great deal of anxiety because I was uncertain of "what's next". I was angry because this wasn't part of the plan I had for my life. Angry because other people did not or could not understand what I was really feeling. Their attempt to make me feel better by giving me intellectual facts only made me angrier and caused me to isolate.
How can we express anger over losing a job? One way is to just "BE". Allow ourselves to process the emotion of anger and why we feel the way we feel. We have a right to be angry - don't we? Anger is not always bad. In some instances anger can be a good thing because it will inspire us to take some corrective action. Anger can be a powerful tool in propelling our lives forward. Just staying in the moment can help to process what we're feeling and seek solutions from within on how to proceed to the next step.
Suppressed anger is never a good thing because it can come out later in some sort of deviant or destructive behavior. It is important to express what we're feeling but not in a way that is threatening to ourselves or other people. Professionals working with job seekers witness all types of emotional expressions. NEVER MINIMIZE WHAT A PERSON FEELS. Since people are unique and react and respond in different ways its important to let people just "be" while they're sitting across from your desk. Unless the behavior is threatening just practicing a little empathetic listening can go a long way. Allow people to be mad, sad, glad or scared without judgement and criticism and this release can provide a quick way to to move from anger to action.
Tracy Washington is a Job Loss and Transition Strategist, Speaker, Author & Coach and can be reached at Tracy@TracyWashington.com or (888)715-9977 .
Do feelings of embarrassment and shame come up for you after you’ve lost your job? This post will give you specific strategies to getting over and conquering that eerie feeling of embarrassment and shame when you face your family and those in your social circle with the reality that you’ve lost your job.
No matter whom you are and how strong you are, we are all human beings and have feelings of being inadequate and deficient in our abilities from time to time. There are times in our lives when we feel like we’re just not good enough and nothing exposes those feelings of inadequacy in our innermost being like losing a job. Losing a job poses a threat to our emotional, financial and social realities. However, laid off workers need not feel ashamed or feel guilty about losing a job; specifically when the termination, however painful it might be, was beyond our control.
Webster’s Dictionary defines shame as being: “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, short-coming, or impropriety”. In life there is what we call “legitimate shame” and “illegitimate shame”. Legitimate shame is a feeling brought on by a conscious act that we later have feelings of guilt about. Shame comes from doing something wrong that goes against our values. An example of legitimate shame might be a feeling of guilt because of something we have purposely done that has caused harm to others. On the other hand, illegitimate shame is more about our fears or “perceived” fears about ourselves or how others may evaluate us. Illegitimate shame can precipitate feelings of embarrassment that causes us to isolate ourselves from others.
And then there’s that feeling of total “embarrassment” which is often misplaced. Embarrassment can be a painful emotion. Embarrassment is feeling bad about our mistakes. Unless there’s some intentional insubordination on the job that causes us to be terminated or downsized – there’s really no need to be embarrassed in light of the above definition. Embarrassment has more to do with how we feel about ourselves rather than how others feel about us.
Here are three ways to conquering the shame and embarrassment of being involuntarily unemployed:
Visit www.TracyWashington.com and sign up for strategies & tips on overcoming the emotional impact of job loss.
Tracy Washington is a Job Loss and Transition Strategist, Speaker, Author & Coach and can be reached at Tracy@TracyWashington.com or (888)715-9977.
I’ve given so much of my life, energy and resources to this position. This company has been my dream job for many years. I’ve developed relationships with my co-workers. I’ve watched them get married, get divorced, get promoted and have children. I’ve seen changes in management and the many adjustments that everyone made to facilitate the new organizational changes. We’ve come to this: Massive job lay-offs. A whole division of my company – gone. I sat there in the lobby of my building with my box of belongings in the seat next to me processing what had just transpired. I was just let go, fired, laid off, down-sized. Stunned. Feelings of anxiety overwhelmed me as I gathered my box and headed for the parking garage. My once thriving position and upward mobility in a company I’ve invested so much in is gone. I feel like a hollow shell was once filled with hopes, dreams & expectations. Now all I feel is uncertainty.
According to the Grief Recovery Handbook written by John W. James and Russell Friedman, the definition of grief is “the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior”. Loss is something that we all experience in our lives at one time or another. It’s unavoidable. The pain experienced by loss can be devastating leaving us with unanswered questions and lifelong emotional pain. You can’t describe to anyone exactly what you feel because they can’t understand how you feel. They claim they “know how you feel”, but in actuality every relationship and experience is unique to that individual; therefore, no one really knows how you feel but you. And sometimes we ourselves don’t know how we feel, as the overwhelming aspects of grief can make it difficult to sort out our own emotions.
Grief is an emotional response to loss. It is not intellectual. Since most of us were socialized to divert our feelings to our intellect with phrases like, “Don’t feel bad, she’s in a better place,” we tend to try to use that idea to deal with all of our emotions. The net result is that we try to heal out emotions with our heads, which is something like shopping for milk in the hardware store. Logical reasoning does not lessen the pain of a broken heart. The heart screams out to communicate what it feels but the brain informs us that if we tell the truth that we will be judged or criticized for expressing what we truly feel. An internal war ensues and we try to reason away the pain, but that rarely ever works in the long run.
Grief is unique to each individual. The impact of losing a job varies from person to person. Some didn’t like their current positions and see it as an opportunity to explore other careers and others are paralyzed by losing a job and find it difficult to move forward. Losing a job is one of life’s major losses. In our American culture we place much emphasis in what we do rather than who we are. Allowing a person the space and the place to “grieve” and adjust to the new reality is a process and doesn’t happen instantly. When job seekers are allowed to express their true feelings in a non-threatening, non-judgmental atmosphere they’re more apt to take advantage of the many resources available to help them adjust to the new reality and move forward. Grief is not about the head, it’s a matter of the heart.
Tracy Washington is a Job Loss and Transition Strategist, Speaker, Author & Coach and can be reached at Tracy@TracyWashington.com or (888)715-9977.
Loss is a part of life. Any time something begins, something else must end; however there is a process in the middle. As someone once said, "When one door closes, another one opens but sometimes there's hell in the hallway". The 'hallway' of losing a job brings about an emotional response. That response is called grief. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. The Grief Recovery Institute defines grief as: the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or a change in a familiar pattern or behavior. People don't feel good when we lose stuff whether it be tangible or intangible, i.e., such as loss of trust, loss of a job, lifestyle changes, moving, etc. The last thing people want to hear is "everything will be alright". Yes, this is more than likely true; however, its doesn't do much in helping people feel better. Miraculously there is something that makes people feel better and that is being HEARD without feeling anxious about being analyzed or judged because they feel the way they feel. Communicating with job seekers involves a certain skill set and that is empathetic listening - being able to understand things from the job seekers point of view and not your own. There are times when people don't want you to fix their problems for them, they just have a desire to be heard. That is all.
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It has been a pleasure to travel around the country speaking to agencies and organizations who are positioned to make a difference in the lives of job seekers. I have been invited to speak, train and consult in an effort to lend support to the thousands of people who find themselves unemployed in our current economic crisis and the individuals and agencies helping to provide services to job seekers.
My work, passion and attraction is to train professionals with strategies and resources to help job seekers grieve the job loss transform their lives and move forward.
Events
Check out the news on my visit to Brevard, Florida as keynote speaker on “Job Loss & Grief”
http://tracywashington.com/media-news-2/
The U.S. Department of Labor
http://www.dol.gov/_sec/newsletter/2011/20110915-2.htm
https://partnerships.workforce3one.org/view/4011126933372625798/info
I know that headline may take some surprise. How in the world can anyone possibly use the word “content” when they’re not sure how they’re going to live and how they will make it? This is a difficult concept to comprehend, but before you discount it let me explain.
I have lived through a job loss so I don’t speak from a textbook theory but rather real-life, painful experience. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it and what I would do to survive. After a lengthy unemployment and going through all the emotions of worrying, fear, anxiety and probably depression (now looking back) and not knowing what to do with myself, I actually learned a valuable lesson and that is how to be content when all the things I knew how to do to gain employment didn’t work.
Being content withOUT a job. This is not your TYPICAL job-seeker solution. With the current economy and massive job lay-offs we generally won’t hear the phrase “content without a job” used very often. Emotions of fear, anxiety and worry accompany losing a job – that’s normal and I don’t discount the reality of these emotions. Paying the mortgage, utilities, car payments, insurance and food becomes the number one concern for anyone who finds themselves suddenly unemployed. It feels at that moment that it is truly about survival. The hard truth is that job security and stability is a thing of the past and we can no longer base our hopes on job longevity, no matter what industry we’ve come from. But there is a “space” that we can create in our own minds where we can be content while we seek for new employment opportunities.
Content is defined as” being satisfied with what one has while we seek for something else. It resembles having an “attitude of gratitude” while we make adjustments in our minds to our new temporary reality. It calls for starting where we are and with what we have and not looking at what we don’t have or what we’ve lost. It’s EXTREMELY difficult to find gratefulness when we’re angry, hurt and worried about our survival and how we’re going to make ends meet. Our brains automatically turn to the worst case scenario when we face traumatic events thereby inciting more panic and anxiety. Our thoughts begin to create our realities and we manifest what we’re constantly thinking and speaking about. The “space” of contentment allow us to find creative solutions to life’s challenges. Anxiety and creativity cannot reside in the same space. If we are in a constant state of panic our brains are literally scrambled and we can’t think logically nor can we “receive and perceive” correctly. Fear sets in and paralyzes us from having clear, concise thoughts and to come up with solutions that will move us forward. Achievement and accomplishment is at the heart of our western American culture. So much of who we are is wrapped up in what we do. When we’re not “doing” we feel as if there is something terribly wrong with us – hence not knowing what to “do” with ourselves and feeling low self-worth. The INCORRECT information we’ve been taught is that we are defined as human beings by what we DO for a living. That’s false. What you DO is not who you ARE.
Content is the opposite of discontent. Being discontent is being dissatisfied with one’s circumstances. I’ve coached and consulted with many job-seekers who have been out of work for 12 months or more who went through a period of feeling depressed, sad, lonely, angry and fearful. After working through the transition process with me they found that they found a whole new person inside they never knew existed. I believe that none of this would have happened unless they went through the process of learning “how” to let go and move on. The first step in the process is to just be content.
Tracy Y. Washington is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Job Loss Transition Strategist, Author, Speaker, Coach, & Trainer. She has helps organizations and individuals transition through loss to restore and renew their lives and communities.
For more information on training, coaching or speaking please contact info@TracyWashington.com.
